Murphy's Laws of Combat

jedion357's picture
jedion357
February 13, 2014 - 6:34am
  1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.
  2. Incoming fire has the right of way.
  3. Don't look conspicuous, it draws fire.
  4. There is always a way, and it usually doesn't work.
  5. The problem with the easy way out is that it has already been mined.
  6. Try to look unimportant, they may be low on ammo.
  7. Professionals are predictable, it's the amateurs that are dangerous.
  8. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:
    1. when you're ready for them.
    2. when you're not ready for them.
  9. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.
  10. If you can't remember, then the claymore IS pointed at you.
  11. The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack.
  12. A "sucking chest wound" is nature's way of telling you to slow down.
  13. If your attack is going well, then it's an ambush.
  14. Never draw fire, it irritates everyone around you.
  15. Anything you do can get you shot, including nothing.
  16. If you build yourself a bunker that's tough for the enemy to get into quickly, then you won't be able to get out of it quickly either.
  17. Never share a foxhole with anyone braver than yourself.
  18. If you're short of everything but the enemy, you're in a combat zone.
  19. When you've secured the area, don't forget to tell the enemy.
  20. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder.
  21. Friendly fire isn't.
  22. If the sergeant can see you, so can the enemy.
  23. Never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can lie down, never stay awake when you can sleep.
  24. The most dangerous thing in the world is a second lieutenant with a map and a compass.
  25. There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole.
  26. A grenade with a seven second fuse will always burn down in four seconds.
  27. Remember, a retreating enemy is probably just falling back and regrouping.
  28. If at first you don't succeed call in an air-strike.
  29. Exceptions prove the rule, and destroy the battle plan.
  30. Everything always works in your HQ, everything always fails in the colonel's HQ.
  31. The enemy never watches until you make a mistake.
  32. One enemy soldier is never enough, but two is entirely too many.
  33. A clean (and dry) set of BDU's is a magnet for mud and rain.
  34. Whenever you have plenty of ammo, you never miss. Whenever you are low on ammo, you can't hit the broad side of a barn.
  35. The more a weapon costs, the farther you will have to send it away to be repaired.
  36. Field experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  37. Interchangeable parts aren't.
  38. No matter which way you have to march, its always uphill.
  39. If enough data is collected, a board of inquiry can prove ANYTHING.
  40. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. (in boot camp)
  41. The one item you need is always in short supply.
  42. The worse the weather, the more you are required to be out in it.
  43. The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of the weapon's operator.
  44. Airstrikes always overshoot the target, artillery always falls short.
  45. When reviewing the radio frequencies that you just wrote down, the most important ones are always illegible.
  46. Those who hesitate under fire usually do not end up KIA or WIA.
  47. The tough part about being an officer is that the troops don't know what they want, but they know for certain what they DON'T want.
  48. To steal information from a person is called plagiarism. To steal information from the enemy is called gathering intelligence.
  49. The weapon that usually jams when you need it the most is the M60.
  50. The perfect officer for the job will transfer in the day after that billet is filled by someone else.
  51. When you have sufficient supplies & ammo, the enemy takes 2 weeks to attack. When you are low on supplies & ammo the enemy decides to attack that night.
  52. The newest and least experienced soldier will usually win the Congressional Medal Of Honor.
  53. A Purple Heart just goes to prove that were you smart enough to think of a plan, stupid enough to try it, and lucky enough to survive.
  54. Murphy was a grunt.
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I might not be a dralasite, vrusk or yazirian but I do play one in Star Frontiers!
Comments:

jedion357's picture
jedion357
February 13, 2014 - 6:47am
Number 12 is funny in a not so funny way.

Anyone have a Murphy's Law for the Frontier setting? Corporate politics? Corporate conflict?

EDIT: just found the Murphy's Laws of Commerce
http://www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-commerce.html
I might not be a dralasite, vrusk or yazirian but I do play one in Star Frontiers!

rattraveller's picture
rattraveller
February 13, 2014 - 6:24pm
54 rules and the original Murphy's Law not included?

Anything that can go wrong — will go wrong.

Sounds like a great job but where did you say we had to go?

Rum Rogue's picture
Rum Rogue
February 13, 2014 - 8:02pm
SKippy List: The 213 things Skippy isnt allowed to do in the Army
http://skippyslist.com/list/
Time flies when your having rum.

Im a government employee, I dont goof-off. I constructively abuse my time.

jedion357's picture
jedion357
February 13, 2014 - 9:06pm
Rum Rogue wrote:
SKippy List: The 213 things Skippy isnt allowed to do in the Army
http://skippyslist.com/list/


OMG, LMAO
I might not be a dralasite, vrusk or yazirian but I do play one in Star Frontiers!

Ascent's picture
Ascent
February 13, 2014 - 9:31pm
"22. Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder."

ROFL! Technically inaccurate, but oh how funny.
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oTTo's picture
oTTo
February 14, 2014 - 4:13pm
 Oh soldier life. I spent many nights in the turret reading PVT Murphy Law

OnceFarOff's picture
OnceFarOff
February 14, 2014 - 10:26pm
"24. The most dangerous thing in the world is a second lieutenant with a map and a compass."

This is so true. We used to do field training exercises (FTX) and our butter bars would never fail to get us lost or have our guys put in minefields, barbed wire obstacles, etc. in the wrong place. We only had one who was any good in our entire unit, and that was because he used to be an NCO.

jedion357's picture
jedion357
February 15, 2014 - 3:20am
OnceFarOff wrote:
"24. The most dangerous thing in the world is a second lieutenant with a map and a compass."

This is so true. We used to do field training exercises (FTX) and our butter bars would never fail to get us lost or have our guys put in minefields, barbed wire obstacles, etc. in the wrong place. We only had one who was any good in our entire unit, and that was because he used to be an NCO.

One of the things that "skippy" is not suppose to do but cracked me up is glue a magnet to the Lt.'s compass.

Funny how much things never change- a Vietnam vet and grandfather whose grand daughter rides the same bus as my daughter said the same thing, nothing worse than a 2nd Lt. and a map. He was ordered once lay out an orienteering course and train his unit but told the officer he didn't want to do it. Next day the officer was all BS because they finished the course so fast and he answer was "Well I laid out of course I"ll finish it fast, I told you I didn't want to do this."
I might not be a dralasite, vrusk or yazirian but I do play one in Star Frontiers!

oTTo's picture
oTTo
February 15, 2014 - 11:52pm

I had some decent officers in my time. A captain that upon getting to the unit took off his crisp uniform to get under the roadwheels of our tank on a Saturday morning. He then proceeded to send us Joes home and left the NCOs to finish the work. "My Joes don't work on Saturdays unless its in the field or under fire" and that was law. Until tank turn in.

A lousy captain I had in a PL (lieutenant) position was also a 'go to bat' tanker. Major chewed me out for driving a humvee late at night out of the training area (NTC). Major stops me and yells at me for driving with a flat. I said "sir, this vehicle is equipped with run flat tires and it will make it to the motorpool just 400 yards away now." He called my PL, chewed him out, PL took it and stood by the fact I did right and the major should be aware of how our equipment works and how soldiers are trained to operate said equipment. Major wasn't happy.

 


Sam's picture
Sam
February 18, 2014 - 1:10pm
Where is the law that says all combat takes place at night, in the rain, and at the junction of four maps?

jedion357's picture
jedion357
February 18, 2014 - 1:47pm
Sam wrote:
Where is the law that says all combat takes place at night, in the rain, and at the junction of four maps?
Yeah that sounds like Murphy alright.
I might not be a dralasite, vrusk or yazirian but I do play one in Star Frontiers!

rattraveller's picture
rattraveller
February 19, 2014 - 6:44am
Sam wrote:
Where is the law that says all combat takes place at night, in the rain, and at the junction of four maps?


That isn't a Murphy's Law because it is a sound strategy. You attack the enemy when they are least prepared and when you have the best cover. This is usually at night when they are sleepy and its dark. During the rain when noise and movement are covered by the rain and the defenders are busy trying to keep dry instead of watching for an attack.

For the map thing get googlemaps and print out a new one.
Sounds like a great job but where did you say we had to go?

Abub's picture
Abub
February 20, 2014 - 8:40am
Well, it certainly is an advantage for an army with a night vision tech advantage but yeah even if you don't have night vision it still is the time to hit them.
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Sam's picture
Sam
February 20, 2014 - 8:48am
Unless, of course, you are the one being hit.