Dept Homelawn Security, New color code system:

jedion357's picture
December 3, 2010 - 11:54am
Let me just say that this came from a friend:

Per Department of Homeland Security Internal Memorandum 11293089666this is the replacement for the color code system formerly used for terror alerts.  An explanation for each alert stage is below.

Republican Warning Level: Suspect(s) capable of random acts in accordance with the new order but usually object to approved new order tax policies. Dangerous when cornered. 100% audit by all revenue authorities when possible. Spade or neuter upon detection.
Good Ole Boy Warning Level: Suspect(s) capable of racism via accent, inflection, or state of residence. Usually a gun owner and Baptist. Avoid direct contact and refer any information  to SPLC or DHS authorities if spotted in groups of more than four or playing checkers while wearing a holster.
Tea Party Warning Level: Suspect(s) capable of extreme violence up to and including signage, voting against the party line, independent thought, and promotion of radical documents called the Declaration of Independence and/or “The Constitution.” Approach with caution as almost impossible to reason with. Action is usually imminent when this warning level is achieved.
Ron Paul Warning Level: Suspect(s) capable of extreme acts against the Federal Reserve, established financial system norms, and both political parties. Opposition to the new order program could result in long rambling speeches which could create confusion among political elites causing mass confusion and disorder. Isolate and neutralize with lobbyists immediately when warning level declared.
Beck Listener Warning Level: Suspected activity which encompasses, supports and appears during other warning levels. Known to attack with screams and tears. If this level is declared, books are imminent along with videos, movie theater bookings, and mass promotion unseen since Moses came down from the mountain. If this level is declared all government and private organizations and officials are to be mobilized to neutralize the threat.
I might not be a dralasite, vrusk or yazirian but I do play one in Star Frontiers!

Will the Stampede's picture
Will the Stampede
December 3, 2010 - 2:05pm
And, the threat of another Beck book is greater than you think....
" 'Beware the Beast, Man, for he is the Devil's pawn. Alone among God's primates, he kills for sport, for lust, for greed. Yea, he will murder his brother to possess his brother's land. Let him not breed in great numbers, for he will make a desert of his home and yours. Shun him; drive him back into his jungle lair, for he is the harbinger of death."

jacobsar's picture
December 3, 2010 - 3:48pm
You rock Jedi.
Reasonable men adapt to the world around them; unreasonable men make the world adapt to them. The world is changed by unreasonable men.
Edwin Louis Cole